Lost memories – The spider lily

“Hold my hands, please.” She asked with a struggling tone.

“It doesn’t even matter anymore.” This bitter response, so cruel and cold that it sent fear into her.

“No, please don’t let go.” she said, still holding onto a small string of hope.

He looked at her, “You, what happened to you?”

“I…I just wanted to be with you. That’s all…” She responded, looking down.

“No, that’s not it.” He retorted. “Why? After all this and you’re still here with me?” He asked, anger building up.

“Because, I told you, I love you more than anything, enough to even sacrifice my eyes for you.” The young girl replied.

“Why?! Why are you making me feel so guilty when I don’t even love you!” He shouted at the girl whose eyes were wrapped with bandage, sitting upright on the bed. Even when she could not see, she could feel the strong anger he emitted.

“I…please…” Her lips trembled, tears struggled to come out, wait, tears could no longer come out. Could they?

“Please…stop making me feel so guilty. I already have enough burdens without yours on top of it.” He told her coldly, but she still held his hands in her palms. “You can see now right? Is it beautiful? Just like I told you?” She asked as both of her hands held his hand and gave a smile.

She was still beautiful, even though her eyes were wrapped with bandage. “Is it beautiful, the world? The warmth you feel from the bright light that shines down, the lovely sight of trees, flowers, grass, and the earth.” She said with a bright smile displaying on her lips. His expression changed to an embarrassed one, cheeks burning with feelings of happiness, but he still held them back as he looked at her. “Am I beautiful?” She asked him with a soft grip on his hands.

His eyes widened, surprised at what she had suddenly asked him. He couldn’t answer, he wanted to, yet he could not or did not want to. He wanted to tell her how beautiful her soft, black, silky hair that flowed down flawlessly was. How beautiful her pale, smooth skin that felt like a baby’s skin was and that her beautiful smile warmed up the coldness in his heart. He wanted to tell her how utterly gorgeous she was, but why couldn’t he?

When his lips moved, she giggled, cutting him off. “It’s okay. I’m only joking. I know I’m not beautiful.” She said this with a smile again. This made his heart ache, but why? Why was he being so mean to her? Those words made him mad at himself. “Um–”

“You know, you should take the time to really look at things. Enjoy the sight of everything you see. Because now you can tell just how beautiful life is. You won’t have to live in the darkness anymore. You’re free now.” These words made his heart melt. This feeling of happiness, what was it? Why did it make him so happy just to hear these words?

“Do you remember when I was telling you about the garden filled with red spider lilies?” She asked him as she tried sitting up.

“Red spider lilies?” He asked, the memory was a blur.

“Yes, they grow beautifully. I wanted to see them one last time.” She stopped for a second, “But I guess I won’t be able to now. They were truly beautiful though.” She looked in his direction, even though she could not see.

“Did you know what the red spider lily means?” She asked. He shook his head, but forgot she couldn’t see.

“Ah–I mean no.” He answered quickly.

“It means ‘Never to meet again, lost memory or abandonment.”

He never knew that such flower existed. “To think such a beautiful flower would have such a meaning.” She said and looked down. “I wouldn’t mind if seeing them was my last dying wish…”

“Why are you telling me this?” He asked as he looked at her.

“Because….it’s special to me.”

All he could do was stare at her, not expecting that answer. “But…I don’t even know you. Yet, you are so nice. I can’t remember who you are that well anymore.”

She gave out a small laugh, “Because I love you.” Again, those words made his heart beat and as if he heard them before.

A minute passed and there was a knock on the door, “I’m sorry but visiting hours are over, sir.” The nurse came in to tell him.

“Okay.” With that, he left the room without saying a word to her. She still smiled.

5 years ago.

“He’s not coming…”

She waited for him where countless of red spider lilies grew. “I’ll wait….he’ll come.” She thought with a smile. She had high hopes and faith, but in reality he wasn’t going to come.

Her cell phone rang and as she picked it up, her smile disappeared and her eyes widened. She dropped her cell phone hearing the shocking news. She ran to the hospital, arriving when he was already in his room.

“I’m sorry Tsubaki-san…..Takeru got into a car accident…and his eyes are badly injured. Broken glasses got into them and they say he’s lost his memories… He may not remember anything…I’m very sorry Tsubaki-san…”

“No….no…this can’t be happening…no! NO! I won’t let this happen! Why!” She sobbed as she dropped to her knees. “It can’t be true! Why! TAKERU!!!!!!!!!!”

5 years later.

“Hey, I remember now….”

He stood in front of a gravestone that read Higurashi Tsubaki. In his hands, he held a bouquet of red spider lilies. “I know who you are now.” Tears rushed down his cheeks as he felt the anger and sadness in him. Setting the bouquet down, he smiled even though the tears were rushing.

“I’m sorry Tsubaki, that it took me forever to remember….I love you.”


[Memory flash]

“Hey Takeru, am I beautiful?” Tsubaki asked as she turned around with a smile. She was wearing a red spider lily, tucked behind her right ear.

“You are beautiful, Tsubaki. I love you.” He leaned in as he gave a kiss on her forehead.


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